I can't go through that again
07 July 2004
It’s good to see I’ve been keeping up with the 4-day updates. It’s much easier this way than trying to make it here everyday.
Anyhow. Now to remember what I’ve been up to. Hmm.
Over the weekend I didn’t do too much. I went to Merry Hill shopping with my mom on Saturday. It was so good to get to go there again; it’s been so long. My mom bought me a really nice halter neck top from FCUK. It’s black with a blue and pink stripe around the chest. It basically looks like a boob tube but with strings to fasten it around my neck.
NB: remember mine's black rather than white!
She also bought me some pyjamas, because although it’s summer, it sometimes goes cold of a nighttime. So I got some new Jim-jams. Very nice, and cosy.
I bought myself Brandy’s old album; the very first one she brought out. It’s called, uh, Never Say Never, and it has Everything I Do, Have You Ever, Almost doesn’t Count, and The Boy Is Mine on it. Those songs are proper tunes. Takes me back, lol.
Sunday I can’t even remember. Hmm. *thinks* - Nope, it’s not there. Forget that.
Monday, me and my mom went into town. My mom bought me a Theory book for my driving practice. The book is kinda big; it has a Hazard Perception section and Highway Code incorporated in it. So it’s like 3 in 1, yay.
Tuesday was dull. I don’t think I did anything. I was all achy and tired because at the time I was due on (it’s here now -_- psh!). I watched Wife Swap, I love that show.
Today I have done some chores and just sat around all day. I started throwing things all over the house because I feel so stressed and tired. I’m just really frustrated. I was hovering and I kept kicking the hoover cos it felt like 10 times heavier than usual. It was pissing me off. Lazy bastard making me drag it everywhere. I swear to fuck it’s doing it on purpose. Stupid inanimate object. Psh!
There was coat hanger on the door handle and I just picked it up and threw it at the floor in the hallway. When I went back to it later it was broken in 3 places. Serves it right. Shouldn’t piss me off.
Right now I feel like I could throw up. Not good.
The only thing I’m happy about at the moment is that it feels like I’ve lost weight. We don’t have any scales at the minute because the old ones went poopy (the dial face broke off), so I can’t know for sure, but my clothes feel kinda loose which is great. I’ve been eating really healthily lately. And I actually started taking water to bed with me as a drink instead of squash or Pepsi.
On a sad note; a few days ago my aunty phoned my mom telling her that my Granddad had stopped eating. No one thinks he’s long for the world anymore. It’s his 80th birthday in August and my mom doesn’t see any chance that he’ll make it that far.
It’s so upsetting. I haven’t seen him in about a month, maybe just over. You see, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but he had a stroke in 2002 and he and my Nan moved in with my Aunty and Uncle after their house was sold. We didn’t think he would live until Christmas. Come the October time my Nan died unexpectedly in my Aunty’s house (exact same day Nicki’s Granddad died oddly enough. The funerals were the same day too). Anywho. My Granddad survived past Christmas up until now. He’s always been really weak though. He has to rely on everyone for help, just to walk a few feet even.
I know he has to go sometime, but I didn’t realise the time would come so soon. I can’t bear to go to another funeral. My Nan’s was the first and only one I’ve ever been to and that was so upsetting. I cried for hours, all through the ceremony.
I don’t know what to say anymore. But I’ll keep you posted.
Alexia
x
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